Abbreviations for crazy af times

Does “af” look like a typo to you? I know it stands for “as fuck,” but when I see it in writing, I imagine an affff sound. For example, “bold af” doesn’t make me think “bold as fuck.” It makes me think, “bold afffff.”

Text from a friend: It’s hot af outside.
How that text reads in my head: It’s hot afffff outside.

But although it’s mentally confusing (for me, anyway), it is very handy for conserving letters when texting or tweeting — forums where every character counts. To that end, I made a list of other handy “as” phrases and their lowercase acronymns. These particular phrases might be especially useful when texting/tweeting about current events.

In fact, if you read the list in order, it adds up to a story of sorts about our times. Here’s a snippet — you can check out the whole thing on McSweeney’s, and I hope you will. Thanks! You’re cool af.

Screen Shot 2017-03-07 at 4.54.28 PM

PS: If you’d like to try using one of these acronyms in a sentence, I’d very much like to see it.


  1. I think the problem is that the word fuck is so mouth satisfying – with that lovely frictive ending. AF is soft and gentle. I say let’s add a k to the abbreviation. As fuck would be AFK. Totally feel that.

  2. I found out, before my morning cofveve, I mean coffee, that I would have to write for a summer course I was accepted into, how had I not thought that through? I’ve spent the last fifteen years mastering the art of “please get the chocolate out of my white shirt” stain removal, but writing, not so much. maybe I shouldn’t have sent a writing sample from ten years ago when my brain still worked. But still, I was excited. I texted my husband. “Got into the writing conference. No not bringing a kid. Sure to be a disaster, skill set feels as fresh aarowosw.”

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